a painted breeze 
seeps through the trees 
and whispers of its load 
fences awake 
no sound to make 
solemn silent code 
the lawyer the baker 
all heartbreakers 
switch from normal mode 
to swim the lakes 
with frogs and snakes 
down on lavender road 

a lone despair 
wisps the air 
subconsciously to goad 
without a thought 
a lesson taught 
slips some foreign node 
the dumb, the bright 
all sleep at night 
in wooden brick abode 
unlike the stars 
who hide from cars 
down on lavender road
— m.e.page

a sound falls from forever 
    to my ear 
a train across the trestle 
    on the river 

you may listen 
    you will never hear 

the crickets, birds 
    they 
take the night away 

a sound rings on forever 
    in my ear 
a heartbeat through 
    too many miles of stone 

i never listen 
    i will always hear 

rain and sun 
    they 
take myself away
— m.e.page

alone 
the night, my love, and me 
alone 
and we are very three 

as close as close 
as close can be 
as distant as 
the deepest sea 
she tells me things 
she does not know 
cries and says 
this isn't so 

alone 
the night, my love, and me 
alone 
and we are very three
— m.e.page

an evening much like this 
you gave your love to me 
    (blood-red pontiac, 
            black-top texas backroad) 

and i know with that kiss 
where i had to be 
    (fingers down my back, 
            crickets singing morse-code) 

so many evenings pass 
so many moments change 
    (lose my mind each time, 
            wanton for those days) 

no love has come so fast 
or left me so deranged 
    (in this evening's shine
            i can recall the ways)
— m.e.page

and i said goodbye 
    to the crystalline dream
whence i was a beggar, 
    and she a queen 
while the rest feel few 
    and far between 

for even the night 
    bore a privileged sound 
our hearts beating slowly 
    as feet on the ground 
like walking through fields 
    of sweet, wet grass 
that would bow, then rise 
    as we would pass 

but time, fear: my monsters, 
devoured all the nights 
dissolving the lines 
between wrong, between right 
between love, between like 

too often i wonder, 
    does she think of me much? 
when it seems passing time 
    has stiffened my touch 
when feelings of late 
    find my nose to the breeze 
for the smell of the sunshine 
    for the perfume of trees 
for the scent of a woman 
    whom i did not please 

if i could not cry 
    how sad that would seem 
when saying goodbye 
    to the crystalline dream
— m.e.page

and i said to her 
please don't let me be 
take me far away 
or else stay here with me 

i have been alone 
waiting for a start 
sitting by the phone 
playing out my part 
and i said to her 
please don't break my heart 

and i said to her 
time is real enough 
to take away the pain 
and some kind of love 

i have been alone 
waiting for a start 
sitting by the phone 
playing out my part 
and i said to her 
please don't break my heart
— m.e.page

and you fell on the void 
within me 
as the stars tumbled into 
the sea 
but more were soon there 
so nobody cared 
and you fell on the void 
within me. 

if you knew what a light 
you had shown 
you would not wish to leave 
me alone 
for alone in the night 
i am never all right 
if you knew what a light 
you had shown.
— m.e.page

another cloudy day 
    no shadows only grey 
i drive by your house 
    but don't know what to say 

so please forgive my pain 
    and the things i do to you 
much need i explain 
    but what else can i do 

i try to stay away 
    but am drawn to where you are 
so i wait 'till you're asleep 
    and slip by in my car 

so please forgive my pain 
    and the things i do to you 
much need i explain 
    but what else can i do 

much need i explain 
    but the meaning seems unclear 
you have walled me off 
    and you don't want me here 

i should not hope to find 
    your feelings at my door 
it's easier to wait 
    and hope that there is more 

much need i explain 
    but my words are lumps of clay 
that stumble through my thought 
    and come out sounding crazed

so please forgive my pain 
    and the things i do to you 
much need i explain 
    but what else can i do

— m.e.page

between the blades of summer grass
    where morning dew and spiders pass
i left a dream that i once knew
    a vision of the green and you

beneath the red and raisin clays
in silence
    as the fossil lays
thinking
better
sadder
days


among cold clouds of evening gray
    where once the stars for us displayed
we shone so brightly that the sun
    would kiss the moon and melt to one

beneath the red and raisin blaze
in silence
   not a question raised
thinking
better
sadder
days


regardless, time has a way
    moves on quickly; cannot stay
remains of shadows caught in dream
    with evening sun and earth and gleam

beneath the red and raisin rays
in silence
    with the blue to grays
thinking
better
sadder
days
— m.e.page

full moon beams 
at us tonight 
and screams 
no other love is right 
but time and tides 
can never know 
the seeds of pain 
that we must sow 
or the reasons 
quiet waiting 
as we go 

we lay our heads 
on stones of dream 
the you and me 
the things unseen 
but morning taunts 
and we must wake 
realities 
we try to fake 
quiet moments 
precious seconds 
we will take
— m.e.page

he fears she doesn't love him 
she fears he loves too much 
he thinks she doesn't realize 
no one could do as such 
she wants for his attention 
he gives it to the max 
she thinks that they could get along 
with just the basic facts 
he holds her soul as captive 
she hold him on appeals 
he fears she feels exactly 
like he feels 

she makes him grope for answers 
he makes her find her time 
she thinks he has a lot of fear 
implanted in his mind 
he wants for what she gives him 
she reaches down for more 
he tries to reach too deep 
and she wonders what it's for 
she loves him with all passion 
he loves the way she deals 
she fears he feels exactly 
like she feels
— m.e.page

head against the window 
watching cars go by 
waiting for the winter 
waiting just to sigh 
i am not the one 
although i tried to be 
tried to take your pain 
tried to set you free 

i am not the one 
who split the night in two 
i am not the one 
not the one for you 
i am not the one 
you tell your secrets to 
i am not the one 
who said goodbye to you 

head against the window 
watching clouds go by 
waiting for the rain 
trying not to cry 
i am not the one 
no matter what i do 
nothing 'neath the sun 
will ever make it true 

i am not the one 
who ripped the night in two 
i am not the one 
not the one for you 
i am not the one 
you tell your secrets to 
i am not the one 
who said goodbye to you
— m.e.page

i almost called you just 
the other day 
but then i thought of things 
you might say 
you don't want me no more 
you try hard to ignore 
all the love we once knew 
and so i'm 
miles away from you 

i haven't seen you since 
i don't know when 
but i still hold to you 
as my best friend 
i sleep alone at night 
i try to make it right 
i does not matter what i do 
i'm still 
miles away from you 

i know love for me 
is in you 
but deep in me 
there lies despair 
i'd do anything 
to win you 
call my name 
and i am there 

if you could see through me 
you'd realize 
each time you go away 
something in me dies 
we could start to live 
if we could just forgive 
all the pain 
we've been through 
that keeps me 
miles away from you
— m.e.page

i am lost 
in secret keeping 
i must end 
the shadow's sleeping 
tear my heart away 
to keep it 
whole 
for i have heard 
the sound of laughter 
chasing me 
to cry thereafter 
take this sound away 
to save my 
soul 
i cannot forgive 

now will come 
the day receding 
shadows on the floor 
lie bleeding 
whispering 
a past alone 
untrue 
and i have waited years 
for something 
shards of broken dream 
of nothing 
memories 
that time will not 
subdue 
i cannot forgive 

all the years 
i have wasted 
bitter words 
i have tasted 
crushing swells 
crash upon 
my mind 
and i would stop 
the day from breaking 
if it were 
a chance worth taking 
hope has left 
a vacuum 
as i find 
i cannot forgive 

i will miss 
to say i love you 
i will miss 
the flavor of you 
nothing else 
could take your place 
it's true 
i will not miss 
the cries of sorrow 
or hoping for 
a new tomorrow 
all of this 
is fading 
from my view.
— m.e.page

i am nothing 
i am no one 
a wisp of dream 
    which never will come true 
distant thoughts 
    that always lead to you 
what can i do 

i am nothing 
i am no one 
a name that none 
    cares whisper in the night 
all the wrongs 
    that clamor to be right 
lose the fight 

i am nothing 
i am no one 
curses breathed 
    by old men as they pass 
harsh laughters in 
    the hallway after class 
always last 

i am nothing 
i am no one 
a song that none 
    dares whistle in the air 
piercing eyes 
    of strangers as they stare 
i don't care 

i am nothing 
i am no one 
a black star on 
    the precipice of night 
a candle in 
    the blinding summer light 
never right 

i am nothing 
i am no one 
a wisp of dream 
    which never will come true 
distant thoughts 
    that only lead to you 
what can i do
— m.e.page

i dream of you 
and long summer nights 
the smell of your hair 
in the noon days' light 
the touch of your lips 
upon my skin 
moonlight walks 
in the autumn wind 

i dream of you 
and ocean sand 
the rush of your breasts 
beneath my hand 
the rivers edge 
with you in the sun 
days when two 
existed as one
— m.e.page

i have drifted 
through endless time
always searching for you
i have sifted 
through pointless rhyme
nothing else i could do

i have stared blindly 
at the sun
hoping one day to see
no one else binds me, 
no not one
nothing else here for me

only you

i have waited
through countless years
always wanting for you
never sated, 
the lingered fears
hide the truth from my view

i have screamed 
at the clouded sky
hoping someone would hear
never dreamed 
that answers why
would make the reason so clear

only you

i have drifted 
through endless time
always searching for you
i have sifted 
through pointless rhyme
nothing else i could do

i have stared blindly 
at the sun
hoping one day to see
no one else binds me, 
no not one
nothing else here for me

only you
— m.e.page

i have seen 
the nature of the lies 
and i have been 
a source of no surprise 
i will stand 
undaunted by my fears 
and i will plan 
to weather out these tears 
but it's so very hard 
to feel the way i do 
and it's so very hard 
knowing we are through 
and so very, very hard 
to not be loved 
by you 

i will realize 
how much i have missed 
thinking of your eyes 
and every time we kissed 
i would sacrifice 
everything for you 
thinking on it twice 
it kinda scares me too 
'cos it's so very hard 
to feel the way i do 
and it's so very hard 
knowing we are through 
and so very, very hard 
to not be loved 
by you 

i have sat alone 
in contemplative pain 
listening to the drone 
of dreams that have gone lame 
i am satisfied 
to wait my life for you 
short of suicide 
there's not much else to do 
'cos it's so very hard 
to feel the way i do 
and it's so very hard 
knowing we are through 
and so very, very hard 
to not be loved 
by you
— m.e.page

i have taken 
all can from you 
you have done 
the best that you could do 
the past  has come undone 
the future has been spent 
i can't take the truth 
but i can take a hint 

looking back 
the path becomes too clear 
all the while 
the end was always near 
you have run away 
a message has been sent 
i can't take the truth 
but i can take a hint 

there was once 
a way to still the pain 
there was space 
to reconcile the blame 
no more time to wonder now 
where our chances went 
i can't take the truth 
but i can take a hint 

i have watched 
the tears from where they start 
run between 
the breaks within our hearts 
all our dreams have broken down 
or have bent 
i can't take the truth 
but i can take a hint
— m.e.page

i live for the moments 
spent with you 
impassioned by the majic 
tween but two 
i long for the seconds 
in your gaze 
and wish the hours 
might slumber into days 

for yes i 
am losing my mind 
captured by 
the spell that you bind 
so that i 
need more of your time 

i live for the moments 
spent with you 
rapture that is conjured 
tween but two 
life becomes transcendent 
in your kiss 
as if all time was forged 
only for this 

yes and i 
am losing my mind 
days slip by 
we're so far behind 
so now i 
need more of your time 

i live for the moments 
spent with you 
to taste your smile 
desires bloom anew 
i will hold all memories 
of such 
and wait until i live 
within your touch 

for yes i 
am losing my mind 
i will fly 
with feelings sublime 
but now i 
need more of your time
— m.e.page

i saw two moons 
in the summer sky 
i questioned my heart 
there was no reply 

one was of gold 
the other of pearl 
i lay between 
exposed to the world 

i ran toward one 
forsaking the other 
chasing the night 
wanting both as a lover 

in trying to learn 
a part of them each 
i placed all i love 
far out of my reach 

i saw two moons 
in the summer sky 
i questioned my heart 
and started to cry
— m.e.page

i was not 
a beautiful boy 
i was not 
an angry young man 
i am not 
the one you enjoy 
this is not 
as i had planned 

i was only thinking something 
another way to pass the time of day 
i was only thinking nothing 
another way to waste my life away 

what can i say 

all in all 
it's nobody's fault 
i am just 
a pillar of salt 

i will wait 
as life rushes past 
i will wait 
as days roll by 
i will wait 
to hold you at last 
i can't wait 
and you are why 

i am only thinking something 
another way to pass the time of day 
i am only thinking nothing 
another way to waste my life away 

but come what may 

all in all 
it's nobody's fault 
being just 
a pillar of salt
— m.e.page

i was thinking of you 
    i was living in fall 
i was telling and yelling 
    so proud of it all 
and then when consumed 
    constrained by myself 
indulged in exccesses 
    (although without wealth) 
i realized my place 
    and thought it so fine 
i'd been here before 
    and of course, you were mine
— m.e.page

i will watch 
the sky 
and try not to 
ask why 
it seems that only time 
will tell 

no words i 
have known 
can speak the love 
you've shown 
i trust this thought does find 
you well 

for the sun is 
going down 
the moon is 
shining bright 
i hope that you feel loved 
tonight 

i wonder where 
you are 
i pray that you're 
all right 
and i hope that you feel loved 
tonight
— m.e.page

if i am the sky 
    then you are the sea 
i end as you start 
    you roll beneath me 
you move in my mind 
    i go as you say 
if i am the sky 
    there's no clouds today 

if am i the sky 
    then you are the wind 
you breathe in my spirit 
    my life do i lend 
you are of my conscious 
    in dreams we can stay 
if am the sky 
    there's no clouds today

— m.e.page

if i knew where we were 
i would not be so concerned 
we have lived for so long 
and yet seem so unlearned 
i will gaze at the stars 
i will pray for easy ways 
i cannot be left alone 
and expect to love the days 

i expect to love the days 

when i look in your eyes 
i can hear you calling me 
from the back of my mind 
to the dreams i've yet to see 
i will gaze at the stars 
i will pray for easy ways 
i cannot be left alone 
and expect to love the days 

i expect to love the days 

if i knew where we were 
i would not be so concerned 
we have lived in the past 
so the future could be learned 
i will gaze at the stars 
i will pray for easy ways 
i cannot be left alone 
and expect to love the days 

i expect to love the days
— m.e.page

in the country for the winter 
the ice sleeps on the pond 
the geese are slowly swaying 
as the cold does drive them on 
i am listening for some one 
underneath these skies of gray 
but my hopes are lost intentions 
and for whom i cannot say 

in the country for the winter 
crushing frost before the dawn 
'neath feet on indecision 
on the path down to the pond 
no frogs or crickets singing 
only silence fills my ear 
deafened by my every thought 
of words i long to hear 

in the country for the winter 
staring madly at the stars 
away from life's illusions
synthesized by lights and cars 
i cannot go on dreaming 
thinking i am fine alone 
i can only hope the winter 
will freeze my heart to stone 

in the country for the winter 
the ice sleeps on the pond 
the geese are slowly swaying 
as the cold does drive them on 
i am listening for someone 
underneath these skies of gray 
but my hopes are lost intentions 
and for whom i should not say
— m.e.page

it seems there's no way 
nothing to say 
or do 
these feelings you hide 
cannot be denied 
on cue 
for something has changed 
a color estranged 
in hue 
my heart whispers doubt 
and so i cry out 
to you 

i can feel you falling away  
falling away from me 
songs and games that
we used to play
taunt me from memory
falling away 
falling away 
from me 

i needed more time
some warning or sign
to know
we've drifted apart
it's making my heart
feel low
i'm so proud to see
what you've grown to be
and so
i'll dream of our time
when your love and mine
will flow

i can feel you falling away 
falling away from me 
songs and games that
we used to play
taunt me from memory
falling away 
falling away 
from me
— m.e.page

machines for cooling 
have all shut down 
the whispers slide 
from tongue to frown 
though nothing cuts 
as deep as woe 
i still am here 
and will not go 

the street lights bleed 
in humming pain 
lost clear of night 
as stars refrain 
i smell the sky 
the taste is slow 
for i am here 
and will not go 

better, worse 
it's all the same 
dispensing tears 
to poison shame 
the truth lies vibrant 
to and fro 
but i am here 
and will not go 

machines for cooling 
have all shut down 
silence breaks 
in silent sound 
no love replaces 
pain we sow 
yet i am here 
and will not go
— m.e.page

she braids her love 
with lies 
and wraps them 
round my throat 
as an anaconda 
smothering its prey 

she burns her guilt 
with anger 
and slams it 
in my veins 
like a drug 
that i can never 
turn away
— m.e.page

she has been 
my light 
without her 
is night 
she shines like 
the sun 
i cannot 
go back to one 
i cannot 
go back to one 
nowhere can 
i run 
if not her 
then none 
i cannot 
go back to one 

she is of 
my dreams 
ripping at 
my seams 
i am all 
she shuns 
i cannot 
go back to one 
i cannot 
go back to one 
head against 
the gun 
if not her 
than none 
i cannot 
go back to one
— m.e.page

slipped stars crowd the evening 
full moon looking on 
aimlessly driving
    caressing 
    imploringly
 
passion condenses on car windows 
eager droplets of pain 
    merging together 
    gaining momentum 
    slides to the floor 

and no one is thinking tomorrow 
no one reviewing the day 
    tight circles
    embraces 
the things of life 
that make it worth bearing 

slipped stars crowd the evening 
full moon looking on 
shades of ambiguity holding
    touching 
    remembering 

hot breath in cold air 
swirling as one 
    melting together 
    whispering tryst 
    falls to the ground 

and no one indulges suspicion 
no one is lost without hope 
    soft curves
    subsummation 
the things of love 
that make life worth living
— m.e.page

take yourself between the trees 
and find the paths 
out to the sea 
stumble through the thorn and briar 
that cut you face 
like razor wire 
still ---
do not cry a sound 
the river will not let you down 

gather stones along this route 
to ballast you 
in case of doubt 
stuff your pockets with despair 
and pray 
the weight with you will share 
for you are square 
the world is round 
the river will not let you down 

lie in tide pools of disgust 
till hot sun sends 
these doors to dust 
follow streams of deep regret 
that never never 
will forget 
leading you 
back underground 
where the river will not let you down 

nothing is unknown to be 
contingencies 
but few can see 
lay a path into the wind 
to the next bardo 
or just 
to an end 
deceit is deep 
eager to drown 
the river will not let you down
— m.e.page

the electric motor spoke to me 
of fear of one 
known just by we 

as if the world could hear the drone 
on hot summer nights 
when we were alone 

naked 
in my poverty 
i sat with the motor 
and watched TV 

i knew why she had to go 
the electric motor told me so 

it sings to me when i am sad 

    i am out loud 
    i am not mad 

i trap my own tormented shell 

and you will never be set free 
the electric motor said to me
— m.e.page

the nightwind blows 
    long silver clouds 
across the moon lit sky 
the shadows fall 
    upon the earth 
as spectres on the fly 

my mind it soars 
    along the fields 
searching for your touch 
my heart it lies 
    entombed in fear 
the waiting takes so much 

the nightwind swirls 
    my thoughts alight 
as paper through the streets 
a passage way 
    from me to you 
must somehow be complete 

you thread a trail 
    among the stars 
showing me the way 
take me there 
    lay me down 
get me home by day 

the nightwind whispers 
    on my face 
to tell me of your love 
it takes my soul 
    outside this world 
to watch you from above 

a gentle breath 
    from in the dark 
tells me where you are 
it won't be long 
    until i'm there 
it won't be very far 

the nightwind soon 
    will sweep the leaves 
across the dying lawns 
a curse for winter 
    on my lips 
the nightwind drives me on 

i cannot know 
    what days between 
will lead us to an end 
i can only 
    bow my head 
and taste you in the wind
— m.e.page

the smell of evening 
as sun touches sea 
i felt in that instant 
where i needed to be 
and the truth of your touch 
was revealed under me 

and our shapes comform 
to the edge of dream 
flesh against flesh 
in a tailor's seam 
and the truth of your touch 
left me in gleam 

for none so transcendent 
could happen before 
traces, redolence, 
still wanting for more 
and the truth of your touch 
i will not ignore
— m.e.page

the thunder has 
my father's voice 
and screams at me 
of life and choice 
while i crawl on my knees 
and stare 
at peace amoung 
the carpet hair 

there is no truth 
there is no light 
i was wrong 
but we were right
— m.e.page

they trade their addictions 
for brass coins 
and coffee 

the saints' names and numbers 
they tape 
to the wall 

by the telephone ringing 
in the dark 
down the hall 

where the sound of forgiveness 
is muted 
and small 

where this song of redemption 
makes no sound 
at all
— m.e.page

tracks 
into the night 
beneath the moon 
reveal no light 
reflect no pain 
inspire no song 
beneath the moon 
we should belong 

midnight 
in the sky 
beneath the moon 
here am i 
dark as hell 
cold as rain 
beneath the moon 
i call your name 

water 
by the tracks 
beneath the moon 
cold and black 
dark as hell 
cold as rain 
beneath the moon 
i go insane 

tracks 
into the night 
beneath the moon 
are mine tonight 
there is no truth 
there in no wrong 
beneath the moon 
we should belong
— m.e.page

wasted time, 
wasted time away from you 
wasting time, 
wasting time is all i do 
i am here, 
i am here and you are there 
nothing else, 
nothing else seems so unfair 

but i, am talking to the rain 
and i, am too dumb to explain 

wasted time, 
wasted time away from you 
lost without, 
lost without the love i knew 
i will wait, 
i will wait through darkest fear 
i will wait, 
i will wait to keep  you near 

but i, am talking to the rain 
and i, am too tired to explain
— m.e.page

we drive the same streets 
    at the same time of night 
        to the rhythm of signs 
            and bridges and lights
writing songs on the brain
    of another same day
        while passing the moments
            we waste on the way

the lines on the highway
    an ellipsis of theme
        perforating our thoughts
            penetrating our dreams
separating our sorrows
    from conscious inaction
        to preserve our opinion
            of ourselves, our distractions

so we drive the same streets 
    at the same time of night 
        seeking rhythms of signs 
            and bridges and lights
writing songs on the brain
    of another tomorrow
        while erasing the moments
            of another today
— m.e.page

we live out our lives 
    in comfortable silence 

unaware of the moments 
    approaching and passing 

never realizing the weight 
    of each fleeting second 

millions of us 
    screaming at god 
        while accepting the blame 

never understanding the pain 
    we circumnavigate our lives around 
        to breathe, 
            to drink, 
                to eat, 
                    to fuck 
                        one more day
— m.e.page

with autumn in the air once more
I step outside and close the door
as memories come rushing up
to greet me. 
the love and pain of yesterday
the things she needed me to say
have held me up then beat me down
completely. 

the golden light that cuts the air
makes me wish that I was there
to hold her till the summer comes
to find us. 
but leaves that roll along the ground
rustle with a taunting sound
telling me the past is dead 
behind us. 

I am burned and blind 
for the summer was unkind
truth is hard to find
for the summer was unkind
— m.e.page

you dance like some 
falling star 
appearing closer than 
you actually are 
before you fade out from my sight 
i make a wish 
that you might fall on me 
tonight 

you dance like some 
falling star 
though you never seem 
to stray very far 
i know some will never see 
you will always be a lucifer 
to me 

shine on me falling star 
and let me know how very 
brilliant you are 
i see the envy of the sun 
will kiss the moon and slowly melt them 
to one 

fall on me shining star 
you take me closer than 
i've ever been by far 
i am waiting for your glow 
that i might always be the only one 
you know
— m.e.page